Nondate-out... Unboyfriend... Breakup?

I was once married to a man that I'm quite sure to this day would take a bullet for me.  Sometimes things in your life break your relationships.  For me, that was my lung transplant.

The good news is, it didn't break me, or him. 

I once dated a man that said that he thought if we broke up I would shrug it off and play some video games.  I loved him, he did not love me.  Play video games I did, shrug it off I did not.

I've been on less than ten dates in the last sixteen months, most have been fodder for blog material, either intentionally or unintentionally.

So forward to last week.  I think, maybe a boy likes me?  Maybe I like a boy?  We make a plan to hang out, maybe a date, a date-out, if you will.  Boy and I both seem happy about it.  The morning of, the boy wants to clarify what it is.  I dunno, what is it?  Boy says he's getting back with ex.  Boy cancels hanging out.  I say, thanks for telling me.  Walk away.

What now?  Ah yes, video games, with shrugging.

I wonder, when is the next time I will maybe like a boy?

Pricks and Falls May Break My Bones, but Headaches Always Hurt Me

Oh dear where do I start!  Today was such a wreck.  Sinus pain woke me up at 3.  I took care of that with a bit of Tobi, only to be plagued by a headache two hours later.  Tylenol somewhat resolves the headache.  I feel thankful that the locker room is closed for maintenance today so I don't have to feel guilty for not going to the gym... only to walk out of the bedroom to find that my animals have ganged up to completely destroy my black prescription sunglasses.  I will add a picture of exhibit A soon.  One whole lens was popped out and chewed up as if it were rawhide.  The ends of the glasses that wrap around my ears, that my dear Suzanne spent so much time sculpting with hot sand so they would fit me perfectly, completely chewed off to reveal a thin sharp metal frame.  The hinges bent beyond repair.  The frame around the missing edge gnarled.  Unbelievable.  Perhaps this is the message I needed to not feel that I'd totally splurged to replace my OLD prescription sunglass lenses with my new prescription.

I can imagine how this happened.  The little one, Mishka, was probably employed by her dog and cat siblings to jump to the table in the entrance area where my sunglasses and keys sit.  All items properly knocked to the floor, then the others began their assault on my Nine West perfect black prescription sunglasses.  The horror!

I managed to bring myself out of the combined rage and exhaustion in order to get to work.  One amusing thing happened that was delightful.  A girl, in an attempt to bring her bike down the front porch steps of her Rutledge Avenue rented home, bit it.  Both her and the bike hit the curb.  She was not hurt, except for her pride, so it was quite amusing.  She seemed rather clumsy, and nearly fell over again while attempting to right her bike.  The important thing was, she didn't spill her coffee, safely carried in her special no-spill coffee container.  Good thinking.

Arriving at work, I find that my boss, B^Yuppie, has killed his computer.  I heard the sounds of the dying MAC over and over, which reminds me of the sounds my PlayStation makes when starting up.  RIP MAC.

The IT guy, C^Techy, spent the day operating on the dead MAC.  He also spent the time trying to convince me to try play the open beta of Aion.  He finally convinces me to end the self-imposed anti-gaming phase I've been on for a good while.  I get home and attempt to download the client, and when my computer says it will take 9 DAYS, I decide that is a sign from God.  I am trying to believe it is a sign from God that I should not be playing any cool MMORPG's, rather than a sign that I need to upgrade my slow ass old Windows box.  NOOO.  I guess I should stick to ROTS.  MUDS rule biatches.

During lunch I saw a sweet racing yellow Lotus Elise just like this one, except a hard top.  I don't know that much about cars, so don't spam me about the Americanized version :) ( not that I'm in any danger of my barely read blog being a source of controversy)

I have a brief despicable idea to hang around and meet whoever is driving it.  With my luck, it would be a woman.  In any case, the [wo]man driving it is probably a prick, or has a small prick, either way it just wouldn't do, now would it?  He/she was parked in a handicapped parking spot without a decal, surely a sign.  Although, I suppose being a prick with a small prick is totally a disability.  I should be more sensitive, it's one of my character flaws.

My lunch was complete crap.  I used to really like the Chicken Alfredo and Chicken Montreal that is offered in the A la carte area of our MUSC cafeteria.  Namely because it comes with so much cheese.  Nothing with that much cheese can be wrong.  However, I've given up.  The last two times I've purchased this once favorite, the "chicken" has been disgusting, a truly awful looking nasty tasting foul (haha) rubbery clumps of gross.  So, no more.  I attempted to salvage the cheese and tossed the rest.

By this hour my headache had again become unmanageable.  I waited the appropriate eight hours before taking two more Tylenol Extra Strength so that I don't become one of the lame-o's that busts their livers up taking too much acetaminophen.  For fucks sake my liver is all I have left!  Gone are the days where I can abuse ibuprofen.  Oh so do I miss those days.

So, to go about diagnosing the top of the head headache.  It is one of two things.  1)  Tension, highly probable.  CoEE stuff is crazy and being one of the only people in the state that understands it is trying.  But, more likely given my new exercises, the problem is dehydration.  Apparently when I get dehydrated, as shown in an MRI a few years ago, the fluid around my brain thickens up and squeezes my little brain like a clamp.  This is of course a very unscientific description.  For further information, read about dehydration and CFS, CVP, and IVP.  I guess I should drink more fluids.

Luckily the headache resolved.

I'll write about my swimming and the gym later.  I did it.  Yay.  The drag suit is completely too huge.  I'm blaming it for the excessive slowness, because that is easier to admit than I'm just a total blob of inactivity with no more muscle tone.  Never mind the fact that I could barely lift my arms in order to wash my hair and that today squatting down to sit on a toilet was quite a chore.  What is funny is the looks of the other people who were at the pool thinking I must be the most modest person ever to have two suits on, and perhaps that I'd recently lost a bunch of weight since the bigger one was just hanging off of me.

Now that is something that sucks about being on prednisone.  I hate how fat it makes my face.  I was looking in the mirror at the gym, and my legs looks pretty skinny despite my idea that I have these huge hips.  But, since I usually look at myself from the face down, and most of my pictures are of my pudge-a-liscous face, I feel huge.  I know it's not right, I'm just saying.  At least I'm not 95 lbs with a face so big that it looks like a balloon that could pop off any fly away anymore.  :)

Plan for tomorrow

Alright here we go, the plan for tomorrow.

Weights:

• Shoulder Press:  30 lbs x 2 sets x B reps
• Bench Press:  30 lbs x 2 sets x B reps (I know this isn't the bar.  I'm going to have to give myself some help here I think for the first day)
• Lat Raise:  25 lbs x 2 sets x B reps
• Lat Pulldown:  45 lbs x 2 sets x 10+ reps
• Dumbbell Curls:  10 lbs x 2 sets x B reps
• Dumbbell Squats:  5 lbs x 2 sets x B reps

Abs:  

• Allabs:  15 reps x 5 sets
• Thrusters:  15 reps x 5 sets
• Standard Leg Lifts:  15 seconds x 5 sets
• Supermans:  15 reps x 5 sets

Swimming (very very light workout):

• 2 x 50 m Freestyle, rest 15 seconds between 50s  *get updated stoke count
• 2 x 100 m Freestyle, kick last lap, rest 20 seconds between 100s * get updated 100 m time trial
• 8 x 25 m Freestyle, alternate easy 25/hard 25, rest 10 seconds between 25s
• 4 x 50 m Freestyle Catchup drill, rest 20 seconds between 50s
• 2 x 50 m Freestyle easy, rest 15 seconds between 50s

I believe this will take me 75 minutes.  Plus time for shower, dry hair, dress say 30 minutes.  Planned arrival time for gym:  7:00.  Get up time, 6:00.  That should do it.

I'm off to get my stuff ready for tomorrow.  Yikes!  And I'm so tired.  Hopefully my sleep will improve will all of this exercising.

New Swimsuits Have Arrived!

I received notification today that my new Speedo suits had arrived.  I couldn't wait to go home.  The order is correct.  I'm a little worried about the 38.  It's a lot bigger than me.  But, it will make a great drag suit.  Lots of water will get stuck in it for sure.  It is still cute.  I probably should have bought a 34 and 36, but I'll keep it.

I did have a fail today on the way to the gym.  I realized when I'd driven half way that I'd forgotten my perfectly set out work clothes at home.  So, I had to turn around and go back, and start again.  Well, at least I didn't realize that at the end, which has also happened in the past.

The workout itself went about as I expected.

• Leg Press 90 lbs x 16 reps x 2 sets --> must increase weight
• Leg Extension 35 lbs x 12 reps x 2 sets --. I will leave this the same for next time
• Leg Curl 35 lbs x 16 first set, 35 lbs x 12 second set --> Increase to 40 lbs for next time
• Rows 30 lbs x 10 first set, 40 lbs x 10 second set --> Use 40 lbs next time
• Push ups 10 x 2 sets --> These were of poor structure, so I'll do the same amount next time
• Standard Leg Lifts 15 seconds x 5 sets --> doing 20 sets of these or any abs was totally unrealistic
• Supermans 15 seconds x 5 sets
• Scissors 15 reps x 5 sets
• Thrusters --> I skipped these!

Overall I'm pretty happy with this first workout day.  I completed the main goal of getting up and getting to the gym, and working out.  I even did nearly everything on my list.  My abs are weak now and that makes me sad, but they will come back quickly.

So now I will prepare tomorrow mornings weight training + swimming workout and post it later tonight!


Today when I was at the gym one of the employees had a shirt on that said,

"Training is the opposite of hoping."

 I really liked that shirt.

I'm up and showered

Ready to head to the gym.  Whoohoo.  Animals fed, must still walk M^Barbie.

Taking my morning stats now.
Weight:  114 lbs
Temp:  98.6 F
BP:  107/79
Pulse:  123
BG:  115

Ok, healthy so far.  Off to the gym!

Back in the Gym!

Alright!  Let the procrastination end!  I spoke to a friend, R^Callous, and he said I need to start going to the gym right now.  Which, I already knew.  No waiting for the swim suits to arrive.  Tomorrow starts the pre-work gym routine.  Must be strong for the 2010 US Transplant Games!

So, night time planning phase speed revs up one gear.  Tonight, do laundry and set aside both workout clothes to wear to the gym tomorrow morning, and all items to dress for work.  Check it twice.  Dress, two types undergarments (I'll leave those to your imagination), work shoes!  Workout clothes are easier because I put them on before I leave the house.  Deodorant (unless going for a goal of being left alone all day)!  For some reason I often forget things like my socks.  Weird.

Now, planning the gym workout.  I get out my book, which has been sitting, sadly waiting for me to pick it back up again.  What day will it be?  Legs and Lats day.  Working out, being a gym addict in a former life, is a very detailed process.  I will pick my exercises, and look back at my book to see where I should start weight-wise.  Now, lifting for swimming is about endurance, not so much strength.  So, lower weight higher reps.  Must be disciplined!  I cannot go to the gym with no idea what to do or how much to do of it.  Then I will look dumb.  Here it is the plan for tomorrow:

• Leg Press (picked over squats because I'm feeling wimpy):  90lbs x 14 x 2 sets  this seems like the right weight to start at based on my records.  Maybe too light but we'll see how sore I am afterward.
• Leg Extension:  35 lbs x 14 x 2 sets  Why do these burn so much?  
• Leg Curl:  35 lbs x 14 x 2 sets  To keep them the same as Leg Extension
• Lat Pull down:  45lbs x 14 x 2 sets  It seems like I wasn't finishing whole sets at 50lbs
• Rows:  25lbs x 14 x 2 sets.  I'm not sure about this one, it looks like I wasn't increasing fast enough on these and I was always increasing.  So, let's see how it goes.
• Push-ups:  10 x 2 sets

And the most important, 4 ab exercises, keeping in mind that I'm not allowed to do sit-ups or crunches or anything at involves crossing over my body all due to my osteoporosis.  So:

• Standard Leg Lifts:  15 seconds x 20
• Supermans:  15 seconds x 20
• Scissors:  15 seconds x 20
• Thrusters:  15 seconds x 20 (now these are kinda naughty looking)

I can't seem to find my stopwatch, and I don't see one on my blackberry.  I'm looking for one to download to it, my counts get pretty quick after a bit.  Any ideas?

This year I hope to really get my upper body strength back up.  After transplant it really declines because the sternum wires restrict you to lifting a maximum of five lbs for a while.  Since going into transplant you aren't exactly pumping iron and afterward you are concentrated on aerobic exercises, the upper body strength really suffers, not to mention I'm a female and it's not exactly our strongest quality.  Beyond that I was always a bit afraid that I'd drop a bar on my Port.

I'm [slightly] sorry that I can't run or walk anymore.  I have a something on my spleen that is growing and it is irritated by the pounding of my feet on the ground.  I figure the swimming is going to cover it, but truthfully, I had the most growth of lung capacity during the period I was running.  Oh well, can't risk hurting my spleen.  I don't want it to break.

Now my book is all set for tomorrow.  And my wake-up call is coming to ensure I get out of bed.  The clothes are in the dryer.

I realize that this blog post is kind-of boring.  But, what the heck.  Life is sometimes boring, yo!