Alright, time to report on the date tonight. I think it was definitely a date, and that fact alone allows me to report it with the fair and balanced coverage I give to all of my dates in the last 10 months. Never mind that there have been only about 10...
So, first thing, we go to a movie. We went to see The Wrestler. I liked it. I have one residual question if anyone can answer it: Does Mickey Rourke actually have a heart or lung condition, or did they use some kind of makeup artist to portray his clubbing fingers in the movie? I find that to be a wonderful touch, since they usually miss such important details in a movie.
Ok back to the business at hand. We went to the movie. I liked it. But, I find it really annoying when people talk to me during a movie. And, the date did. I'm not saying I never make a sound at a movie, but commenting on each thing kind of drove me crazy.
So then he says he wants to stop by a birthday party for one of his friend's brothers. I say ok. We go to this little biker shop where there are a bunch of rednecks drinking and smoking. I mean like 90% of the people are smoking. Okay, that was not so bad. I'd met a couple of the friends the other night, they were all good guys. So, then there was a piñata. It is shaped like a shoe, a stripper shoe is the best I can describe it. The birthday man hits it for a bit and it breaks and lots of sex things fall out. Sex things like flavored lube, magazines, um.. toys. Now, I'm saying, if these were all my friends this would be cool, but this is a first date with a girl that doesn't know anyone else.
So next we go to King Street Grill and have food. I like food. Now he starts talking. It becomes apparent that he must have some type of psychological problem. I can't really put my finger on what it is. So, I tell him he has to stop texting me. I tell him if he wants to talk to me he has to call me on the phone like a real person. He took that pretty well I guess. Anyway, in between his unorganized rants, he just tells random off-color jokes. He told about seven jokes in a row. They were not original commentary about funny things, they were just rehearsed jokes that covered all of the usual offensive subjects. He asked me if I know any jokes. I do not store jokes in my brain like trivia. He thought that was weird. I, in turn, thought it was weird that he believed a good conversation comprised of a smattering of poorly timed off-color jokes. It's all about the timing.
Clearly the timing was off on this whole night.
Anyway, I'm glad to say that I arrived home all in one piece. I promptly put on my Snuggie. Snuggie makes you feel better after a weirdo date. Snuggie + KittyBear + odd blog = perfect night, at least that's my story.
Lesson to be learned - increased hotness may increase quantity of dates, but quality remains the same.
Once again I hope all of my loyal readers are entertained by my daily experiences. No firemen were hurt by this date. All characters are real but the names have been withheld to protect the guilty parties.
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